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Sexual Intercourse or… simply Sex

Family Counseling
Family Counseling
ಲೈಂಗಿಕ ತೊಂದರೆಗಳು or Sexual Problems requiring Family therapy or Medications or both

Love and Relationships can be difficult initially for any couple, and having some knowledge about sex can help immensely in performing sexual intercourse.

When a man and a woman have sexual intercourse or simply sex – where a man’s penis enters the woman’s vagina – it is called vaginal sex. Please find out more about what it is, why people do it and how to do it safely. Sleep Hygiene has a lot to do with Sexual Health.

Should I have vaginal sex or sexual intercourse?

Deciding whether to have sex is a very personal thing, and there is no rule to say whether you ‘should.’ The main things to consider are whether it feels right and whether you and your partner are both sure. 

Vaginal sexual intercourse usually starts when a man and a woman get sexually excited from kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing, and touching each other. You’ll often know you’re getting aroused (which means your body is preparing itself for sexual intercourse) from certain physical signs:

  • for women, the vagina (the sexual opening between the legs) begins to moisten
  • men get an erection, which means their penis will get bigger and harden.

The importance of foreplay (before sex or sexual intercourse)

Try not to rush things for sexual intercourse. The best approach is to enjoy each other’s bodies and make sure you’re relaxed with one another before sex – this is called foreplay, and it’s an equally important part of sex as intercourse itself. It’s also perfectly ok not to go any further than this stage. Many couples enjoy having foreplay for a long time before they move on to having vaginal sex.

If you are both ready to have vaginal sex, foreplay must last for long enough. If the woman is not sexually excited enough, then her vagina will not become lubricated, and it will be difficult for the man’s penis to enter.

How does vaginal sex work?

When you are both aroused and ready to have sex, it helps if you use your hand to guide the penis into the vagina. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a few goes to guide it in properly – this is very normal, especially when you are both getting used to each other’s bodies.

Once the penis is inside, you can move your body so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again. Do what comes naturally and feels good – being slow and gentle is a good idea to start with as you can both make sure one another is comfortable.

What about different positions?

One common position involves the woman lying down, with the man lying or sitting on top (also called the ‘missionary position’). Alternatively, the woman can be on top – or you can both lie on your sides. It is probably easiest to choose one of these positions if you have sexual intercourse for the first time. As you get to know each other’s bodies better, you can experiment with different positions that work for you both.

After a while, you might find certain movements, positions, and ways of touching that lead to one or both of you having an orgasm. This is also called ‘coming’ or ‘climaxing.’ Don’t be too concerned if this doesn’t happen straight away or at all. It takes time to get to know what works for you sexually. And for your partner as well. And sex can be enjoyable whether you climax or not.

Will it hurt – and will the woman bleed?

It can take a bit of time to get used to the sensation of sex. And, some women can find it a little uncomfortable or painful at first. Taking things slowly and using good water-based lubrication can help.

If it’s a woman’s first time having sex, she may bleed a little. This is generally nothing to worry about. Since it’s a sign that her hymen (a fragile piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina) has broken, sometimes, a woman’s hymen will have been broken through activities—for example, horse riding or through using tampons. So, not all virgins bleed the first time they have sex.

If you continue to bleed every time you have sex, it’s a good idea to speak to a healthcare professional. This is for reassurance and to check. It’s nothing to worry about.

Being safe and sure

Knowing how sex works can help you to feel more relaxed and ready to have sex. However, being clued up about contraception and protection is just as important. If you aren’t, you will put yourself (and your partner) at risk. This includes unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs), and HIV.

There are many STIs that you can get through unprotected vaginal sex. These are chlamydia, herpes, or HIV, and they can happen as a result of just having sex once. Using condoms is the only way to be sure that you’re both properly protected is to always.

If you’ve had unprotected sex make sure you seek healthcare advice as soon as possible. This is to access emergency contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy and perhaps post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to prevent HIV infection. 

Talking to your partner about protection before you start having sex will help things go more smoothly. This can be embarrassing, but it’s an important part of having sex. Additionally, if you find it difficult to discuss, then it is a sign you aren’t ready to start having sex yet. That’s fine. However, remember that there are many ways to enjoy being together and explore your sexual feelings until the time is right. If you continue to experience problems and affect your family life consult an expert in the field.

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Love and Relationships

Love Relationship
Love Relationship

It often becomes exasperating and excruciating if we find ourselves feeling unloved frequently. This may lead to much confusion, especially with love and relationships, and possibly lead to numerous fights or conflicts, resulting in both feeling worn out and bleak.

Despite being aware that your partner does love you and still feeling unloved, that’s when you should know that other major factors are playing a role behind it. Not the least of which is sexual intercourse.

The consequence of feeling unloved perpetually leads to inferior self-esteem. This can further result in you becoming clingy, not self-reliant, and other individuality traits which can propel any probable lover to become restless. Here are some ways which you can follow to rekindle your love life and relationships:

ALTERING YOUR PERCEPTION

The foremost thing that can help is changing perspective and diversely looking at things. Hunting for the positive side, retrieving self-esteem, and being strong enough without seeking anyone’s validation can also help.

LISTENING PATIENTLY

Building a strong and mature relationship needs both verbal and non-verbal communication. In a relationship, only speaking your heart out won’t help. Listening and paying attention while your partner speaks is also essential.

BEING STRAIGHTFORWARD

One should not lie and cheat on his or her partner in a relationship. Communicating whatever comes to mind and spilling it can hurt the other person’s feelings. In a relationship, both partners need to understand each other.

SPEAKING YOUR MIND OUT

Keeping secrets from each other while in a relationship can deteriorate the situation. Disregarding one’s feelings, emotions and discussing the problem is a better idea than keeping things to oneself.

PAMPER YOURSELF

Try to take some time for yourself, give your life and connection a profound thought, and shape things out to make your relationship stronger. It will further boost your wish to explore intimacy. Loving yourself is also needed in place of thinking only about your partner’s happiness.

Why feel unloved in your relationship unnecessarily when you are actually loved?  Free yourself from this illusion by functioning at understanding, considering, and knowing your partner better!

If you have questions or concerns AND want to confidentially/privately talk about your problems, speak with a professional mental health provider.

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Sexual Problems – How Does It Affect You

Sexual Intercourse
Sexual Intercourse
Sex or Sexual Intercourse

Both men and women can suffer from sexual dysfunction or sexual problems. In common person’s parlance, it is a problem that prevents you from experiencing sexual satisfaction. If you are experiencing sexual dysfunction in any part of the sexual response cycle, you are not alone. This traditionally includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Research suggests that 43% of women and 31% of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction or difficulty.

It also remains a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss and resolve worldwide. Read on to know more about sexual dysfunction. This is so that you can understand it and seek treatment for it. Moreover, this is because treatment options are available and extremely helpful.

Types of sexual dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction is classified into four categories:

  1. Desire disorders: This is a generalized lack of sexual desire or interest in sex
  2. Arousal disorders: Inability to become physically aroused during sexual activity
  3. Orgasm disorders: A delay or absence of orgasm
  4. Pain disorders: Pain during intercourse
Symptoms of sexual dysfunction 

In men:

  1. Erectile dysfunction – An inability to achieve or maintain an erection for penetrative sexual intercourse
  2. Retarded ejaculation – An absent or delayed ejaculation despite sexual stimulation
  3. Early or premature ejaculation – Inability to control ejaculation

In women:

  1. Inadequate vaginal lubrication before or during sex
  2. Inability to relax the vaginal muscles for sexual intercourse to happen
  3. Lack of interest in or desire for sex. An inability to become aroused or pain during intercourse is also classified as sexual dysfunction.
Causes of sexual dysfunction
  1. ​Physical causes – Several medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. They include diabetes, heart and neurological problems, hormonal imbalances, kidney or liver failure, and the use of habit-forming substances. Antidepressant use can also affect sexual function.
  2. Psychological causes. – Stress and anxiety, sexual performance anxiety, relationship problems, depression. These are some of the psychological causes responsible for sexual disorders. In addition, feelings of not being good enough and the effects of a past sexual trauma also come into play.
Diagnosis of sexual dysfunction

Subsequently, the doctor will begin with history. This includes talking about symptoms, followed by a physical exam to rule out medical problems.

However, a major part of diagnosis is psychological. Therefore, the doctor will evaluate your attitude about sex, as well as other contributing factors. Hence, these may include fear, anxiety, past sexual abuse, relationship problems, medications, habit-forming substances, etc. In conclusion, this is to understand the underlying cause of the problem.

Treatment

In fact, psychiatrists and sexologists can treat most types of sexual dysfunction by addressing the underlying physical or psychological problems. In addition, other common ways to treat sexual dysfunction are:

  1. By changing a medication that may be causing sexual dysfunction. If you have a sexual dysfunction due to hormone deficiencies, you may benefit from hormone shots, pills, or creams. Men can use Viagra or Cialis for erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis.
  2. Mechanical aids – Penile implants or vacuum devices can be used in men to maintain an erection. Vacuum devices are used in women too. In addition, there are dilators to help women who have an extremely narrow vaginal opening.
  3. Sex therapy – Marriage counselors and therapists help couples resolve their relationship issues that may be causing sexual dysfunction.
  4. Behavioral therapy helps you seek insight into your behavior, causing sexual dysfunction, and addressing it.
  5. Psychotherapy. This type of therapy can help you resolve prior sexual trauma—feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, fear, or guilt, and poor body image.

In conclusion, kindly click to read more here if you have questions and are suffering from any of the above. We also have a blog post in Kannada(ಲೈಂಗಿಕ ತೊಂದರೆ). Click here to read that article. Also, feel free to contact the expert to have your problem/s solved.

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How to Increase Sexual Energy for MEN

Sexual Energy for Men
Sexual Energy for Men
How to Increase Sexual Energy for men

How to Increase Sexual Energy for Men

We discuss how to increase sexual energy for men naturally.

What are Kegels?

Firstly, a Kegel is an exercise specifically designed to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles.  This can help you improve erection angle, improve erection quality, give more intense orgasms, indirectly enlarge your penis, cure incontinence. And much more, thus improving sex !!! Hence, this is one of the most important ways on how to Increase Sexual Energy for Men. These are some of the many ways to improve many sexual problems.

Kegel History:

Firstly, Kegels were invented by Dr. Arnold Kegel, an Obstetrician, in the 1940s. Although developed for women, it became clear Kegels are also great for male sexual health !!!

Find your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle:

While urinating, contract your muscles, so you either slow or stop the flow of urine.  Indeed, those are your pelvic floor muscles !!!

4 Simple Steps:

  • Contract
  • Hold
  • Release
  • Repeat

Multi-Orgasmic Men?
YES!  However, with strong pelvic floor muscles and practice, men CAN become multi-orgasmic !!!

Don’t just Kegel

In addition, combine your Kegel with other penis exercises like jells and stretches to maximize your results !!!

TIP ~

Firstly, have your partner do Kegel too.  In fact, you’ll both enjoy a harder erection and a tighter vagina. Here we have discussed how to increase sexual energy in men !!!

In addition, within the framework of the World Health Organization’s (WHO) definition of health as a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity, reproductive health, or sexual health/hygiene, addresses the reproductive processes, functions, and system at all stages of life. However, UN agencies claim sexual and reproductive health includes physical as well as psychological well-being vis-a-vis sexuality.

Therefore, reproductive health implies that people can have a responsible, satisfying, and safer sex life. In addition, they must have the capability to reproduce and the freedom to decide if, when, and how often to do so. Therefore, one interpretation of this implies that men and women ought to be informed of and have access to safe, effective, affordable, and acceptable birth control methods. Men should thus, know how to increase sexual energy in themselves.

Also, access to appropriate health care of sexual, reproductive medicine and implementation of health education programs to stress the importance of women going through pregnancy and childbirth could provide couples with the best chance of having a healthy infant.

Indeed, individuals do face inequalities in reproductive health services. However, inequalities vary based on socioeconomic status, education level, age, ethnicity, religion, and resources available in their environment. Men are more likely NOT to access healthcare services, especially to increase their sexual energy.

Finally, it is possible, for example, that low-income individuals lack the resources for appropriate health services and the knowledge to know what is appropriate for maintaining reproductive health.