Are You Feeling Suicidal?

Feeling Suicidal

How to Deal with Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings and Overcome the Pain

You’re not alone; many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. This pain seems overwhelming and permanent at the moment. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.

I’m having suicidal thoughts, what do I need to know?

No matter how much pain you’re experiencing right now, you’re not alone. Some of the finest, most admired, needed, and talented people have been where you are now. Many of us have thought about taking our own lives when we’ve felt overwhelmed by depression and devoid of all hope. But the pain of depression can be treated and hope can be renewed. No matter what your situation, there are people who need you, places where you can make a difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. It takes real courage to face death and step back from the brink. You can use that courage to face life, to learn coping skills for overcoming depression, and for finding the strength to keep going. Remember:

  1. Your emotions are not fixed – they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.
  2. Your absense would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.
  3. There are many things you can still accomplish in your life.
  4. There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift you – and that you would miss.
  5. Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience distressing emotions.

Why do I feel suicidal?

Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us, and the ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person. We are all different. There are, however, some common causes that may lead us to experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.

Why suicide can seem like the only option

If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don’t exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. The intense emotional pain that you’re experiencing right now can distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see possible solutions to problems, or to connect with those who can offer support. Therapists, counselors, friends or loved ones can help you to see solutions that otherwise may not be apparent to you. Give them a chance to help.

A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary

Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur. Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to subside.

Even problems that seem hopeless have solutions

Mental health conditions such as depression, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder are all treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication. Most people who seek help can improve their situation and recover. Even if you have received treatment for a disorder before, or if you’ve already made attempts to solve your problems, know that it’s often necessary to try different approaches before finding the right solution or combination of solutions. When medication is prescribed, for example, finding the right dosage often requires an ongoing process of adjustment. Don’t give up before you’ve found the solution that works for you. Virtually all problems can be treated or resolved.

Take these immediate actions

Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now

Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.

Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There’s is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.

Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol

Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.

Step #3: Make your home safe

Remove things you could use to hurt yourself, such as pills, knives, razors, or firearms. If you are unable to do so, go to a place where you can feel safe. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.

Step #4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself

Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of the clergy, teacher, family doctor, coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline. Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.

Step #5: Take hope – people DO get through this

Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.

Reaching out for help

Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, there are many people who want to support you during this difficult time. Reach out to someone. Do it now. If you promised yourself 24 hours or a week in step #1 above, use that time to tell someone what’s going on with you. Talk to someone who won’t try to argue about how you feel, judge you, or tell you to just “snap out of it.” Find someone who will simply listen and be there for you.

It doesn’t matter who it is, as long as it’s someone you trust and who is likely to listen with compassion and acceptance.

How to talk to someone about your suicidal thoughts

Even when you’ve decided who you can trust to talk to, admitting your suicidal thoughts to another person can be difficult.

  • Tell the person exactly what you are telling yourself. If you have a suicide plan, explain it to them.
  • Phrases such as, ‘I can’t take it anymore’ or ‘I’m done’ are vague and do not illustrate how serious things really are. Tell the person you trust that you are thinking about suicide.
  • If it is too difficult for you to talk about, try writing it down and handing a note to the person you trust. Or send them an email or text and sit with them while they read it.

How to cope with suicidal thoughts

Remember that while it may seem as if these suicidal thoughts and feelings will never end, this is never a permanent condition. You WILL feel better again. In the meantime, there are some ways to help cope with your suicidal thoughts and feelings.

If You Have Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings

Things to do:
  • Talk with someone every day, preferably face to face. Though you feel like withdrawing, ask trusted friends and acquaintances to spend time with you. Or continue to call a crisis helpline and talk about your feelings.
  • Make a safety plan. Develop a set of steps that you can follow during a suicidal crisis. It should include contact numbers for your doctor or therapist, as well as friends and family members who will help in an emergency.
  • Make a written schedule for yourself every day and stick to it, no matter what. Keep a regular routine as much as possible, even when your feelings seem out of control.
  • Get out in the sun or into nature for at least 30 minutes a day.
  • Exercise as vigorously as is safe for you. To get the most benefit, aim for 30 minutes of exercise per day. But you can start small. Three 10-minute bursts of activity can have a positive effect on mood.
  • Make time for things that bring you joy. Even if very few things bring you pleasure at the moment, force yourself to do the things you used to enjoy.
  • Remember your personal goals. You may have always wanted to travel to a particular place, read a specific book, own a pet, move to another place, learn a new hobby, volunteer, go back to school, or start a family. Write your personal goals down.
Things to avoid:
  • Being alone. Solitude can make suicidal thoughts even worse. Visit a friend, or family member, or pick up the phone and call a crisis helpline.
  • Alcohol and drugs. Drugs and alcohol can increase depression, hamper your problem-solving ability, and can make you act impulsively.
  • Doing things that make you feel worse. Listening to sad music, looking at certain photographs, reading old letters, or visiting a loved one’s grave can all increase negative feelings.
  • Thinking about suicide and other negative thoughts. Try not to become preoccupied with suicidal thoughts as this can make them even stronger. Don’t think and rethink negative thoughts. Find a distraction. Giving yourself a break from suicidal thoughts can help, even if it’s for a short time.

Recovering from suicidal thoughts

Even if your suicidal thoughts and feelings have subsided, get help for yourself. Experiencing that sort of emotional pain is itself a traumatizing experience. Finding a support group or therapist can be very helpful in decreasing the chances that you will feel suicidal again in the future. 

5 steps to recovery

  1. Identify triggers or situations that lead to feelings of despair or generate suicidal thoughts, such as an anniversary of a loss, alcohol, or stress from relationships. Find ways to avoid these places, people, or situations.
  2. Take care of yourself. Eat right, don’t skip meals, and get plenty of sleep. Exercise is also key: it releases endorphins, relieves stress, and promotes emotional well-being.
  3. Build your support network. Surround yourself with positive influences and people who make you feel good about yourself. The more you’re invested in other people and your community, the more you have to lose—which will help you stay positive and on the recovery track.
  4. Develop new activities and interests. Find new hobbies, volunteer activities, or work that gives you a sense of meaning and purpose. When you’re doing things you find fulfilling, you’ll feel better about yourself and feelings of despair are less likely to return.
  5. Learn to deal with stress in a healthy way. Find healthy ways to keep your stress levels in check, including exercising, meditating, using sensory strategies to relax, practicing simple breathing exercises, and challenging self-defeating thoughts.

What if you still don’t feel understood?

Contact the psychiatrist immediately.

Depression – Medications Play a Key Role in Recovery

Depresssion Medications Recovery
What is antidepressants and mood elevators?

Depression – caused by the imbalance of neurotransmitters in the brain. Therefore, medications play a key role in recovery. Thus, antidepressant or mood elevator, prescribed to patients with depression to alleviate their symptoms. Antidepressant medicine not only used for the treatment of depression. Additionally, also prescribed in other psychiatric conditions. These include anxiety disorders, social anxiety disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), dysthymia (mild chronic depression), etc,.

The use of antidepressants is on the rise. Although, antidepressants do not cure depression, they relieve the symptoms. Andipressants come in various types. The first medication to try may not benefit. However, one must consult their doctor and find the right choice of medication/s for their condition.

Antidepressant adherence

Non-adherence to antidepressants – one of the causes of major negative consequences on health. Nonetheless, it also majorly contributes to the under treatment of anxiety and depression in maximum cases in the population. Consequently, a set of reasons why people do not comply with their therapy or treatment must be explored. Firstly, forgetting to take the medicine. Secondly, other factors that contribute to non-adherence of antidepressants include –

  1. Fear of addiction
  2. High cost of medications
  3. Fear of drug-induced sexual dysfunction
  4. Delayed onset of action of the medication
  5. Poor instructions and protocols by the doctor
  6. Fear of side effects
Benefits of Adherence

Nevertheless, adherence to the medication with proper guidance from the doctor will decrease the symptoms of depression. Thus, leading them get back to their normal life. Also, under-treatment of depression at times fatal. However, if the depression escalates, suicidal tendencies can follow. Inspite of and apart from these, suddenly stopping the medications – associated with withdrawal symptoms which can get fatal in severe cases.

Indeed, in recent times – depression – a common problem and the reason for the rise of fatalities that it causes. Thus, the importance to consult a doctor to get the condition’s diagnosis and get on the right treatment. Also, of equal importance to adhere to their therapy and abide by the guidelines.

Depression – Types and Symptoms

Depression is frequently confused with natural and circumstantial feelings of grief or sadness. However, depression is not merely a weakness. It is not something to be taken lightly. Indeed, it is quite a serious issue and can last for long periods of time. Accordingly, there are different types of depression and they could present with more than a couple of symptoms.

In fact, depression does not merely involve feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness. To summarize, it is much more terrible and has a negative effect on your day-to-day functioning.

Further, there are many different types of depression. These are:

  1. Firstly, Major depression
  2. Secondly, Bipolar depression
  3. Thirdly, Psychotic depression
  4. Fourthly, Chronic depression (even dysthymia)
  5. Fifthly, Seasonal depression
  6. Sixthly, Substance-induced depression
  7. Seventhly, Postpartum depression
  8. Eighthly, Double depression
  9. Ninthly, Treatment-resistant depression
  10. Tenthly, Secondary depression
  11. Finally, Masked depression
Symptoms

First off, signs and symptoms of clinical depression vary. Secondly, they depend largely on how severe, how long lasting and how often they come into play. In addition, there are individual differences. Therefore, while some experience a few signs of depression, others experience more. Hereunder, is a list of symptoms that might indicate that you may be suffering from depression and that you might want to consult a psychiatrist:

  1. Firstly, Being sad for most parts of the day, especially in the morning
  2. Secondly, Feeling like blaming yourself unnecessarily or feeling worthless almost every day
  3. Thirdly, More inclined towards being negative
  4. Fourthly, Sleep Difficulties i.e. Loss of sleep or Excessive sleep
  5. Fifthly, Regular contemplations of death or suicide
  6. Sixthly, Significant weight gain or weight loss
  7. Seventhly, Appetite loss or overeating
  8. Eighthly, Feelings of high fatigue and low energy levels almost every day
  9. Ninthly, Inability to make decisions or impaired focus and difficulty concentrating
  10. Tenthly, Lack of interest in almost all daily activities or hobbies, including sexual activity
  11. Eleventhly, Irritability and restlessness
  12. Twelthly, Cramps, headaches and digestive problems which persist even with treatment
Causes

Although, the exact cause of depression is not yet determined, depression is supposedly caused by a combination of a number of factors:

  1. Biological differences
  2. Hormonal imbalances
  3. Brain chemistry
  4. Inherited traits or genetic disorders.
  5. Social and Psychological factors.
  6. Also, Co-morbid or Chronic Medical conditions.

And finally, 7. Treatments with certain Medications.

Hallucinations Delusions Schizophrenia ?

hallucinations delusions schizophrenia

Weird, Bizarre, Incoherent – Hallucinations Delusions Schizophrenia ?! Serious Mental Illnesses (SMIs) and side effects to varied medicines may cause hallucinations in many individuals. Psychosis and Schizophrenia are the most commonly known causes that may cause this condition. Hallucinations are sensations and feelings that may appear as real to the patient. Thus, convincing him or her of the occurrence of things that are not really happening in reality. Hearing voices, seeing people, and experiencing things that no one else can, are some of the ways in which hallucinations work.

Let us find out the varied signs and symptoms of this condition.

Hearing Voices: One of the most common signs of hallucinations includes hearing voices. You may hear voices from people who cannot be seen or heard by other people around you. In such cases, you may have the distinct feeling of hearing these voices from within. However, this could also be from a source outside your own mind and body. In many cases, you may feel like these voices are trying to talk to you or give you a certain message. Ringing of the ears on a persistent basis may also be experienced in such cases.

Visual Hallucinations: Such hallucinations will make the patient see things. In such cases, the patient may be witness to a scene that cannot be seen by anyone else. Essentially, it is a scene that may not be happening in reality. In visual hallucinations, the patient may also see people that other people in the room or the area cannot see. The patient may also see objects and other creatures. For example, insects crawling across his or her hand. Subsequently, the patient reacts with fear or anxiety, when in reality, no such scene may be happening. These kind of hallucinations also cause occipital seizures where the patient will see spots, shapes and rings of brightly coloured lights. They may be coming towards him or her, or even encircle him or her.

Other kinds of hallucinations

Tactile Hallucinations: In this kind of hallucinations will make the patient feel things that may not really be happening. For example, these hallucinations will make the patient feel hot during winters. They may also feel a blast of air even when there has been none.

Taste Hallucinations: In these hallucinations, the patient may get a salty taste from sweet food, or vice versa. Such hallucinations make the patient imagine that he or she tastes a certain flavor when in reality, this is not true. They are also called gustatory hallucinations.

Olfactory Hallucinations: These hallucinations have to do with odd smells that the patient may get a whiff of. In these hallucinations, the patient imagines certain smells like burning, or other odours. Patients may also feel that their own bodies are letting out certain odours which may not be the actual case.  

Delusion vs. Hallucination

A delusion is a false belief based on incorrect inference about external reality that is firmly sustained despite what almost everybody else believes. This is also despite what constitutes incontrovertible and obvious proof or evidence to the contrary. The belief is not one ordinarily accepted by other members of the person’s culture or subculture For example, it is not an article of religious faith.

A hallucination occurs when environmental, emotional, or physical factors such as stress, medication, or extreme fatigue. In a mental illness the mechanism within the brain that helps to distinguish conscious perceptions from internal, memory-based perceptions misfire. As a result, hallucinations occur during periods of consciousness. They can appear in the form of visions, voices or sounds, tactile feelings (known as haptic hallucinations), smells, or tastes.

Delusions are a common symptom of several mood and personality-related mental illnesses. These include schizoaffective disorder, schizophrenia, shared psychotic disorder, major depressive disorder, and bipolar disorder. They are also the major feature of delusional disorder. Individuals with delusional disorder suffer from long-term, complex delusions that fall into one of six categories. They are persecutory, grandiose, jealousy, erotomanic, somatic, or mixed.

So… are all hallucinations delusions schizophrenia ?! If you notice any of the above, it may be time to consult a neuropsychiatrist OR visit your nearest doctor to find out more.

Depressed Women Vaginismus

Depressed Women Vaginismus

Depressed Woman Vaginismus comes to mind. It is not only the cyclical changes in physiological and psychological terms that women have to endure and become resilient. Women also need to change to external circumstances.  Hence, they are probably designed to be flexible enough for change.  However, depression can get the better of even the so called toughest woman. Good news is that it is something that can be treated to the fullest degree. Among the various symptoms of depression that are easily modified with medications sexual symptoms are rarely discussed. However, one symptom rarely discussed is that of sexual problems or disinterest due especially to physical causes resulting in depression.  

A specific sexual disturbance especially during the initiation of first sexual contact or encounter is that of dyspareunia. The female version of which is vaginismus, which could possible be more common in depressed women. There are various successful vaginismus treatments that do not require interventions. These include medications, surgical operations, psychotherapeutic measures, nor any other complex interventional procedures.


Vaginismus is treatable and the success rates are quite high. 


Among the most effective treatment approaches are a combination of pelvic floor control exercises very commonly known as kegel exercises. This along with insertion or dilation training using objects that are specific to the sexual treatment procedures is helpful. Resulting in pain elimination techniques using psychotherapeutic measures like exposure and response prevention are helpful. Likewise, transition steps with incremental tolerance to pain and enjoyment of the act are taught. Also, exercises designed to help women identify, express and resolve any contributing emotional components are helpful. They either are from the past experiences or from ill-informed sexual learning experiences which are mostly hearsay.

Treatment

Women can do their treatments at the comfort of their homes. Thus, allowing a woman to work at her own pace in privacy, or in cooperation with her health care provider. The sexual pain, tightness and penetration difficulties that are due to vaginismus in depressed women are completely treatable. In addition, they fully overcome any remaining pain or discomfort, over the course of time.

Women experiencing pain or tightness during sexual activities can expect great benefit. However, if pain is associated with penile penetration problems including unconsummated relationships, they can expect high degree of resolution of vaginismus. This is true even in depressed women. This would allow for full pain free and adequate intercourse to the satisfaction of both partners.

Vaginismus treatment in depressed women and exercises follow a manageable, step-by-step process ~
Step 1 –

Understanding Vaginismus. Step 1 provides an overview of vaginismus and how symptoms can arise from it. Symptoms include sexual pain, tightness, burning sensations or penetration difficulties may result from it. Women start their sexual endeavor with this approach. The women become proactive about their sexual health. This is because an understanding vaginismus is fundamental to the process of overcoming it. Topics also include how to obtain a solid diagnosis, treatment methods, relationship issues, pelvic/relaxation techniques, conditioned responses and muscle memories.

Step 2 –

Sexual History Review & Treatment Strategies. A balanced approach helps women review and analyze their history. Exercises help identify and evaluate any events, emotions, or triggers contributing to vaginismus sexual pain or penetration problems. Checklists and detailed exercises map out a woman’s sexual history and pelvic pain events, working toward appropriate treatment strategies. Emotional reviews help detail any negative events, feelings, or memories that may collectively contribute to involuntary pelvic responses. Topics also include blocked or hidden memories. In addition, how to move forward when there have been traumatic events in a woman’s past.

Step 3 –

Sexual Pain Anatomy. Women often lack complete information about their body’s sexual anatomy, function, and the causes of pelvic pain and penetration problems. Confusion regarding problems with inner vaginal areas and vaginal muscles frequently lead to misdiagnosis and frustration. Step 3 educates about these sexual body parts with emphasis on their role in sexual pain and penetration issues. Topics include how to distinguish what kind of pain or discomfort is normal with first-time or ongoing sex. Also, what physical changes take place during arousal to orgasm cycles in the context of sexual pain or penetration problems. In this step, explanations about the Anatomy areas such as the hymen and inner vulva. These areas are demystified (for example there are six diagrams of hymen varieties to help distinguish hymen problems).

Step 4 –

Vaginal Tightness & The Role Of Pelvic Floor Muscles. Female sexual pain and penetration difficulties typically involve some degree of involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor. This step focuses on the role of pelvic floor muscles, especially the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group. This explains in great detail how triggering the PC once continues their involuntary tightness. This continues with increasing attempts at intercourse. Effective vaginismus treatment focuses on retraining the pelvic floor to eliminate involuntary muscle reactions that produce tightness or pain. Learning how to identify, selectively control, exercise and retrain the pelvic muscles is a trick. This is to reduce pain and alleviate penetration tightness and difficulties is an important step in vaginismus treatment.

Step 5 –

Insertion Techniques. Allowing initial entry without pain, for women with painful penetration is the purpose of this technique. In this step, women practice pubococcygeus (PC) muscle control techniques. Women allow the entry of a small object (cotton swab, tampon, or finger) into their vagina. Thus, gradually working completely under their control and pace. The step helps in any previous closure of the entrance to the vagina and prevention of penetration by involuntary muscle contractions. Women begin to take full control over their pelvic floor. They subsequently learn how to flex and relax the pelvic floor at will, eliminating unwanted tightness and allowing entry.

Step 6 –

Graduated Vaginal Insertions However, when used properly, vaginal dilators are effective tools to further help eliminate pelvic tightness due to vaginismus. Also, dilators provide a substitute means to trigger pelvic muscle reactions. Thus, the effective dilator exercises in Step 6 teach women certain techniques. However, these include how to override involuntary contractions, relaxing the pelvic floor so it responds correctly to sexual penetration. Subsequently, graduated vaginal insertion exercises allow women to comfortably transition. Hence,this is to set the stage where they are ready for intercourse without pain or discomfort.

Step 7 –

Sensate Focus & Techniques For Couples To Reduce Pelvic Floor Tension. Helping with the transition to pain-free intercourse, this step explains sensate focus techniques. This is for couples to use to reduce pelvic floor tension and increase intimacy. Couples begin to work together during this step as exercises teach how to successfully practice sensate focus (controlled sensual touch). In addition, they prepare for pain-free intercourse using techniques from earlier steps. The exercises build trust and understanding. In addition, they assist in the process to adjust to controlled intercourse without pain.

Step 8 –

Pre-Intercourse Readiness Exercises Finalizing preparations for couples to transition to fully pain-free intercourse, this step completes pre-intercourse readiness. Couples review and practice techniques that eliminate pelvic floor tension and prepare to transition to full intercourse. Preparing ahead of time is the key to this step. This is to manage, control and eliminate pain or penetration difficulties. Hence, the exercises assist with the final transition to pain-free intercourse.

Step 9

Making The Transition To Intercourse. Step 9 explains the techniques used to eliminate pain and penetration difficulties while transitioning to normal intercourse. This section includes many troubleshooting topics of great use. Examples include, such as positions to use to maximize control and minimize pain, tips to ensure more comfortable intercourse, etc.

Step 10

Full Pain-Free Intercourse & Pleasure Restoration. The final step toward overcoming vaginismus includes penis entry with movement and freedom from any pain or tightness. To educate, build sexual trust and intimacy are the goals of Step 10. They help complete the transition to full sexual intercourse free of pain. Couples can begin to enjoy pleasure with intercourse, initiate family planning, and move forward to live life free from vaginismus.

CONSULT THE SEXUAL MEDICINE SPECIALIST FOR BEST RESULTS

Sexual Intercourse or… simply Sex

Sexual Intercourse or Simply Sex

When a man and a woman have sexual intercourse or simply sex – where a man’s penis enters the woman’s vagina – it is called vaginal sex. Find out more about what it is, why people do it and how to do it safely. Sleep Hygiene has a lot to do with Sexual Health.

Should I have vaginal sex?

Deciding whether to have sex is a very personal thing and there is no rule to say whether you ‘should’. The main things to consider are whether it feels right, and whether you and your partner are both sure. 

Vaginal sexual intercourse or simply sex, usually starts when a man and a woman are getting sexually excited from kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing and touching each other. You’ll often know you’re getting aroused (which means your body is preparing itself for sexual intercourse) from certain physical signs:

  • for women, the vagina (the sexual opening between the legs) begins to moisten
  • men get an erection, which means their penis will get bigger and harden.
The importance of foreplay

Try not to rush things. The best approach is to enjoy each other’s bodies and make sure you’re relaxed with one another – this is called ‘foreplay’ and it’s an equally important part of sex as intercourse itself. It’s also perfectly ok not to go any further than this stage. Many couples enjoy having foreplay for a long time before they move on to having vaginal sex.

If you are both ready to have vaginal sex, it’s important that foreplay lasts for long enough. If the woman is not sexually excited enough, then her vagina will not become lubricated and it will be difficult for the man’s penis to enter.

How does vaginal sex work?

When you are both aroused and ready to have sex it helps if one of you uses your hand to guide the penis into the vagina. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a few goes to guide it in properly – this is very normal, especially when you are both getting used to each other’s bodies.

Once the penis is inside, you can move your bodies so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again. Do what comes naturally and feels good – being slow and gentle is a good idea to start with as you can both make sure one another is comfortable.

What about different positions?

One common position involves the woman lying down, with the man lying or sitting on top (also called the ‘missionary position’). Alternatively, the woman can be on top – or you can both lie on your sides. It is probably easiest to choose one of these positions if you are having sexual intercourse for the first time. As you get to know each other’s bodies better you can experiment with different positions that work for you both.

After a while you might find certain movements, positions and ways of touching that lead to one or both of you having an orgasm. This is also called ‘coming’ or ‘climaxing’. Don’t be too concerned if this doesn’t happen straight away or at all. It takes time to get to know what works for you sexually. And for your partner as well. And sex can be enjoyable whether you climax or not.

Will it hurt – and will the woman bleed?

It can take a bit of time to get used to the sensation of sex. And, some women can find it a little uncomfortable or painful at first. Taking things slowly and using a good water-based lubrication can help.

If it’s a woman’s first time having sex she may bleed a little. This is generally nothing to worry about. Since, it’s a sign that her hymen (a very thin piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to the vagina) has broken. Sometimes, a woman’s hymen will have been broken through activities. For example, horse riding or through using tampons. So, not all virgins bleed the first time they have sex.

If you continue to bleed everytime you have sex then it’s a good idea to speak to a healthcare professional. This is for reassurance and to check it’s nothing to worry about.

Being safe and sure

Knowing how sex works can help you to feel more relaxed and ready to have sex. However, being clued up about contraception and protection is just as important. If you aren’t, you will put yourself (and your partner) at risk. This includes unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV.

There are many STIs that you can get through unprotected vaginal sex. These are chlamydia, herpes or HIV and it can happen as a result of just having sex once. Using condoms is the only way to be sure that you’re both properly protected is to always.

If you’ve had unprotected sex make sure you seek healthcare advice as soon as possible. This is to access emergency contraception to prevent unwanted pregnancy, and perhaps post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) to prevent HIV infection. 

Talking to your partner about protection before you start having sex will help things go more smoothly. This can be embarrassing, but it’s an important part of having sex. Additionally, if you find it difficult to discuss then it is a sign you aren’t ready to start having sex yet. That’s fine. However, remember that there are lots of ways to enjoy being together and to explore your sexual feelings until the time is right.

Sexual Problems – How Does It Affect You

Sexual Problems How Does It Affect You

Both men and women can suffer from sexual dysfunction or sexual problems. In common man’s parlance it is a problem that prevents you from experiencing sexual satisfaction. If you are experiencing sexual dysfunction in any part of the sexual response cycle, you are not alone. This traditionally includes excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Research suggests that 43 percent of women and 31 percent of men report some degree of sexual dysfunction or difficulty.

It also remains a topic that many people are hesitant to discuss and resolve worldwide. Read on to know more on sexual dysfunction. This is so that you can understand it and seek treatment for it. Moreover, this is because treatment options are available and extremely helpful.

Types of sexual dysfunction
Sexual dysfunction is classified into four categories:

  1. Desire disorders: This is a generalized lack of sexual desire or interest in sex
  2. Arousal disorders: Inability to become physically aroused during sexual activity
  3. Orgasm disorders: A delay or absence of orgasm
  4. Pain disorders: Pain during intercourse
Symptoms of sexual dysfunction 

In men:

  1. Erectile dysfunction – An inability to achieve or maintain an erection for penetrative sexual intercourse
  2. Retarded ejaculation – An absent or delayed ejaculation despite sexual stimulation
  3. Early or premature ejaculation – Inability to control ejaculation

In women:

  1. Inadequate vaginal lubrication before or during sex
  2. Inability to relax the vaginal muscles for sexual intercourse to happen
  3. Lack of interest in or desire for sex. An inability to become aroused or pain during intercourse are also classified as sexual dysfunction.
Causes of sexual dysfunction
  1. ​Physical causes – A number of medical conditions can cause problems with sexual function. They include diabetes, heart and neurological problems , hormonal imbalances, kidney or liver failure, and alcoholism and drug abuse. Antidepressant use can also affect sexual function
  2. Psychological causes. – Stress and anxiety, sexual performance anxiety, relationship problems, depression. These are some of the psychological causes responsible for sexual disorders. Feelings of not being good enough and the effects of a past sexual trauma also come into play.
Diagnosis of sexual dysfunction

Subsequently, the doctor will begin with a history. This includes talking about symptoms, followed by a physical exam to rule out medical problems.

However, a major part of diagnosis is psychological. Therefore, the doctor will evaluate your attitude about sex, as well as other contributing factors. Hence, these may include fear, anxiety, past sexual abuse, relationship problems, medications, alcohol or drug abuse, etc. In conclusion, this is to understand the underlying cause of the problem.

Treatment

In fact, most types of sexual dysfunction can be treated by addressing the underlying physical or psychological problems. In addition, other common ways to treat sexual dysfunction are:

  1. By changing a medication which may be causing sexual dysfunction. If you have a sexual dysfunction due to hormone deficiencies, you may benefit from hormone shots, pills, or creams. Men can use Viagra or Cialis for erectile dysfunction by increasing blood flow to the penis.
  2. Mechanical aids – Penile implants or vacuum devices can be used in men to maintain an erection. Vacuum devices are used in women too. In addition, there are dilators to help women who have an extremely narrow vaginal opening.
  3. Sex therapy – Marriage counselors and therapists help couples resolve their relationship issues that may be causing sexual dysfunction.
  4. Behavioral therapy – This helps you to seek insight into your behaviour which may be causing sexual dysfunction and address it.
  5. Psychotherapy. This type of therapy can help you resolve prior sexual trauma. Also, feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, fear, or guilt, and poor body image.

In conclusion, if you have questions and are suffering from any of the above kindly click to read more here. Also, feel free to contact the expert to have your problem/s solved.

Grief Loss and Bereavement

Grief Loss Bereavement

Can Expressing Yourself Help You Cope With Grief Loss and Bereavement?

Medication is absolutely necessary to relieve yourself of the pain and grief.

True or false?

1. Which of the following can be a symptom of grief?

Anger 

Fear

Physical symptoms 

All of the above

Answer – All of the above

It is normal to be angry over the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, severe illness or other common reasons that cause grief. You might consider it imperative to blame somebody for your loss. Fear is also a common symptom, for you can have a lot of insecurities or fears if you have lost a loved one and are coping with it. Grief loss and bereavement can also come with its share of physical symptoms like nausea, fatigue, vomiting, backaches, weight gain, etc.

2. Which of the following is the first stage of grief?

Denial & shock

Anger

Depression

Bargaining

Answer – Denial & shock

This stage helps to protect the individual from going through the intensity of his loss. It may be useful when the person is preparing to take action (For e.g.: arrangements for a funeral in case of a death of a loved one). Numbness is also a very common reaction at this stage. Over time, as the person realizes the impact of the loss, denial and numbness will subside.

3. Expressing your feelings in a tangible way can help to cope with grief

Answer – True

You should try writing about your feelings down in a journal. If you’ve lost a loved one, write a poem or a letter saying things you could never say. You can also make an album on the life of the person you’ve lost and celebrate the person’s life, or join any social cause or some organization which that person had been a part of.

4. You will be able to cope with grief faster if you ignore it

Answer – False

Trying to ignore your pain or preventing it from resurfacing can only make matters worse over time. Grieving or mourning in the face of a loss is very natural and one of the healthier ways of coping with grief. You should never ignore the wounds your loss has left you with. Acknowledging them and accepting the pain you are feeling will help you in overcoming your grief and moving on in life.

5. Medication is absolutely necessary to relieve yourself of the pain and grief

Answer – False

Though medications are prescribed in a few cases, grieving and mourning will always be the most honest ways to deal with your loss. Accepting the pain and moving towards it to embrace that as a part of your reality will work wonders for you in overcoming your grief.

Grief is not an illness which should be cured with medicines. Sympathy from your loved ones, compassion and a clear understanding of your loss also helps. However, when the symptoms are intense or are prolonged, You should consider visiting a psychiatrist at the earliest. This is especially true if you or your loved one’s day to day routine has been affected significantly and you have noticed that you/they have been taking a longer time than expected to heal emotionally. Not having moved on and gotten on with daily activities is a sure sign of needing clinical help.